Cyberbullying is a global problem

NEW YORK — More than 10 percent of parents around the world say their child has been cyberbullied and nearly one-fourth know a youngster who has been a victim, according to a new Ipsos/Reuters poll.

And more than three-quarters of people questioned in the global survey thought cyberbullying differed from other types of harassment and warranted special attention and efforts from parents and schools."

The data clearly shows an appetite among global citizens for a targeted response to cyberbullying," said Keren Gottfried, of the global research firm Ipsos, which conducted the poll.

But, she added, whether or not schools live up to this mandate is in the hands of educators.

The online poll of more than 18,000 adults in 24 countries, 6,500 of whom were parents, showed the most widely reported vehicle for cyberbullying was social networking sites likes Facebook, which were cited by 60 percent.

Mobile devices and online chat rooms were a distant second and third, each around 40 percent.

While the report showed that awareness of cyberbullying was relatively high, with two-thirds saying they heard, read or had seen information on the phenomenon, cultural and geographic differences abounded.

In Indonesia, 91 percent said they knew about cyberbullying, in which a child, group of children or younger teen intentionally intimidates, threatens or embarrasses another child or group through the use of information technology such as social media or mobile devices.

Australia followed at 87 percent, while Poland and Sweden trailed slightly behind. But only 29 percent in Saudi Arabia, and 35 percent in Russia, had heard of cyberbullying.

In the United States, where cases of cyberbullying have been widely reported to have been linked to teen-age suicides, the figure was 82 percent.

Gottfried described the survey as the first global study of its kind and a benchmark to where assessments of cyberbullying vary.

"The key to this study is that it measures parental awareness of cyberbullying, not actual rates of the behavior," she said. "While we can't speculate on what actually happens, it is quite possible that the proportion of children actually being cyberbullied is in fact understated, since we are speaking with the parents, not the kids."

In India 32 percent of parents said their child had experienced cyberbullying, followed by 20 percent in Brazil and 18 percent in Canada and Saudi Arabia and 15 percent in the United States.

The highest incidence of people knowing of a child in the community being targeted was in Indonesia, with 53 percent. But only 14 percent there said their child had been cyberbullied — less than in Canada, Brazil, Saudi Arabia and the United States.

Overall, parents in France and Spain reported some of the lowest incidence of cyberbullying either of their own child or one in their community.

Gottfried said that future studies could show whether there was a trend toward greater awareness of cyberbullying, and shed some light on what affects parental awareness.

The complete list of results and countries can be found athttp://www.ipsosglobaladvisor.com/

Parents must be involved

If your kids have ever wondered what they have to be thankful for – have them watch this video!

If they are feeling less than perfect of out of "sync" with the rest of the world – this may be the "kicker" that helps them understand that we are all special and all have our own gifts. 

Please forward this video, share your comments and thoughts below and let your friends, kids, family and everyone they know that everyone has special gifts and qualities even when it doesn't appear so.

Kymberley

What's the difference between

defiance and a sincere question?

The last thought is a seeming paradox. Focus and relax. Focus on the ones that are the most important to you and relax about keeping up with the world's expectations. With our priorities in order, we can set our own expectations and let the world conform to our lives.

What is the connection between the trend and practices of children using social networking media and internet safety for kids? It is closer than you think. Let’s take a look.

Firstly, social networking websites and online chat rooms are frequented not only by kids and teens but also by online and sexual predators too, for the obvious reason that maximum children are there too, lurking around to attack at the slightest chance. They can lurk around so easily because of the fact that internet makes it so easy for anyone to take on assumed identity. They obviously are hiding behind some identity which they created for the very purpose.

Learn all about social networking safety tips for children, click here.

There is no telling who your kids are chatting with on the other side. Their ‘good’ online friend might well be a man or woman forty years of age. But rest assured that their projected online persona will be of someone attractive and friendly in order to lure children. Many a times they do succeed in striking friendships with kids and many a times there are always kids who are fooled by them into revealing their personal information online, sadly.

Cyberbullying is one example where the cyber bully carry on their activities over the social networks using false identity. And in the case of cyberbullying, a bully can later become a victim and then back again. Cyberbullying is known to go to extreme levels with devastating consequences.

The focus of concern surrounding internet safety for kids here is that any child can be vulnerable to attacks if care and caution is not exercised. This includes the former cyber bully who can land up to become a victim too. It almost always starts with some interactions online on the online social networking platform.

All these while like many parents you might have been thinking what harm can possibly arise from a media which is purely online. Sad but true, many kids are wounded and scarred for life, some has ended their lives. You will be surprised to know the many areas, the trend in the online practice and the social networking activities of children where children are vunerable to getting hurt.

Click here for detailed study on all the areas of safety concern for children.

Like most children, if your kids loves spending hours in front of the computer there’s a high chance they are spending most of the time online at internet chat rooms or online message boards. For instance, MySpace is one of the most frequented sites frequented by junior high school and high school students to stay in touch with friends, make new online friends and be in the social circle. There is nothing to be alarmed with this as such, the only cause for concern is that in order to look cool among their peer groups kids simply must have a cool profile online for which they might end up revealing personal information on their profile, not only that kids frequently uploads photos and videos online too which might contain private content which might be spread around.

These insights are just a few of the many areas. The reality is, it is not practically possible to keep a track of your child’s activities over the vast landscape of the internet all by yourself. You simply have to make use of the tools and services available, like those here on KidSafe.

Here is an excerpt 

INTRODUCTION

The Internet is no longer a novelty. It is an established presence in many, many people’s lives. Having grown from a computer-based ‘fad’ to an integral part of mobile phone technology, the Internet has become a must-have item for not only business people and students, but just plain folks.

Unfortunately, the Internet, available to virtually anyone, is also home to a whole new type of predator. No one is exempt from problems that 

could arise from this type of predator. Identity theft, cyberstalking, cyberbullying, all terms relatively new to users of the World Wide Web, have 

become items of global concern. Because of these concerns, yet another term has been coined, cyber security.  People need to learn how to keep 

themselves and their children safe online.

The article below is titled "How to Bully Proof Your Kid."  Kidsafe.com has free reports to help you. 

 

Tune in all this week for a special series devoted to bullying and its damaging effects on our children, on "AC360º" at 8 p.m. ET. Then tune in Saturday night at 8 ET for "Bullying: It Stops Here," a special town hall discussion led by Anderson Cooper.

(CNN) — Miranda Jones can remember many afternoons in the counselor's office in her small-town Colorado middle school, crying about other kids relentlessly teasing about her weight.

She'd change clothes in the bathroom stall after gym so the other girls wouldn't laugh at her size. By high school, she was spending countless hours in the library reading to avoid social situations and the possibility of being teased. She rarely complained to her teachers, assuming they would just make it worse if they confronted her bullies.

"I went out on a limb (my freshman year in high school) and decided to join the speech and debate team, which filled countless hours of time that I would have otherwise spent being sad about my lack of friends," says Jones (who didn't want to reveal her real name because she's embarrassed by what happened to her). "Thanks to that activity, I actually made some wonderful friends. I had something to do every weekend. And I was good at it. That was the biggest thing, I think. I excelled at something that terrified most other people my age, and in that, I had some power."

Now at a top-ranked women's college in the Northeast, Jones is grateful her debate coaches helped her find something she loved that kept her focused and got her into college. "Without an after-school activity, academic support from adults and without constantly reminding myself that it wasn't going to last forever, I never would have survived the endless taunts of my peers."

Battling back against bullying Teen bullying interveners The roots of bullying Getting to the root of bullying

It's unfortunate that our children will get bullied at school, whether it's about their appearance or dress, their academic ability or hobbies, a disability or just the fact that they're the new kids in town.

Schools with vigorous anti-bullying programming are more likely to stop bullies in their tracks, but not every school has a commitment to stopping the abuse. However, there are things parents can do to strengthen their children before the bullying starts, convince them to tell parents if a verbal or physical attack occurs, and keep them safe.

Start early. Does your child understand the difference between thinking, feeling and action?

Starting when their son was 3, psychologist Tammy Hughes and her school psychologist husband started teaching him. At night, they'd say, "Tell me three good things that happened to you today." This helped him make the distinction between events and his feelings about them.

Once he had that mastered, they added, "Tell me three good things that happened to someone else (lesson: the world includes me and other people, their feelings and actions)."

Next they asked, "Tell me something you did that worked out well. Now, tell me something that someone else did that worked out well for someone else."

"These simple questions help children differentiate themselves and others, and (teach them) cause and effect. If you can connect these ideas and feelings, then it helps children to prepare to identify bullying — negative versus positive behaviors — and who did what to cause the outcome," says Hughes, chair of Duquesne University's department of counseling, psychology and special education and co-author of "Understanding Girl Bullying and What to Do About It: Strategies to Help Heal the Divide." "These simple steps help children to guard against blaming themselves for the bullying of others and to help them feel they can act to change the situation."
When their son turned 6 and was introduced to his school's formal bully prevention curriculum, he already knew how to talk about feelings and their source and how to act according to the school's instructions about bullying.

"Parents and teachers will find that it is not how savvy they are in their conversations with their child, but rather how often they engage the child in preparing for thinking, feeling and action when the parent is not around," says Hughes.

Develop a sense of self. A sense of self isn't about children feeling good all the time or getting a trophy for showing up to every soccer game. It's teaching a child to have core sense of sturdiness so her sense of who she is isn't defined by the whim of her peers.

Parents show their children they know them when they choose an activity with them, discuss personal problems, and talk about their day. It's also reflected when a parent makes a comment about something unique or challenging for a particular child.

"It's about parents really being tuned into their children and the kind of people they are," says Richard Weissbourd, a lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education and author of "The Parents We Mean to Be." "We want to reflect back to them who they are, whether they are spirited, soulful, feisty, funny or strong-willed. It's not explicitly praising them a lot that matters. It's demonstrating a deep knowledge of and affirming who they are."

Encourage courageous behavior. Bullying flourishes in school communities when most of the community stays silent while the bullies attack.

Bullies have power when the audience of bystanders is silent. Bystanders should speak out to the bully and or officials.

"When one kid gets bullied, everyone is silent or laughs or goes along with it because they don't want it to turn on them," says Kenneth Ginsburg, a pediatrician at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and co-author of "Letting Go with Love and Confidence: Raising Responsible, Resilient, Self-Sufficient Teens in the 21st Century." "They sacrifice someone to keep themselves safe."

Teachers and coaches can encourage students to speak up when someone is attacked. Any student can encourage members of their team or club to do the right thing, but those lessons often start at home.

Raise your child with character and values, sharing stories of people (including you) who have done the right thing in the face of adversity. That way they can stand up against bullying or other injustice when it occurs at school. "Character is about doing the right thing when nobody is watching or when it's hard to do," says Ginsburg. "The person with character says, 'not in my presence.'"
Look in the mirror. Become aware of your own behavior, because your children will copy you.

Parents who are reasonable, calm and practice problem-solving in the face of stress and uncertainty model those skills and attitudes for their children. Once they see it works, children can develop that peaceful approach to their world and the bullies within it.

"Parents whose default response is one of intimidation may inadvertently model bullying behavior for their children," says Donna Henderson, a professor of counseling at Wake Forest University. "Or, if parents are the targets of bullying behavior from other adults and they don't address it directly, kids will assume that's the way to respond to bullies."

Develop overlapping circles. Encourage your children to become involved in after-school activities and clubs that they enjoy.

That will help them make friends with different groups of children. If one group turns on your child, he will have other friends to support him and remind him he's not alone.

"This is great for building self-esteem and gaining a greater sense of purpose," says Virginia Wilkins, director of mentoring for College For Every Student, a nonprofit that helps underserved youth prepare for college and supports them once they're there. "Say my child is being bullied in an art group. Having other social groups lets my child experience something very different. It's not all or nothing."
Develop physical confidence. Some children benefit from developing a sense of their own physical strength, whether in martial arts or another discipline.

Being able to understand the physical movement of one's body is key to establishing a child's place in the world, says triple black belt holder Kris Wilder, a Franciscan monk and co-author of "How to Win a Fight." "The success of martial arts is that it creates an immediate and indelible link to the internal sense of a child's being via external drills and discipline," says Wilder, owner of West Seattle Karate Academy.

"This makes a child more confident, (which) carries over into how a kid holds himself in the world. Bullies are predators by nature and prefer the weak as prey. A confident child is less likely to be a victim, and martial arts provides this platform for creating a resilient, confident child."

When it's not what it seems. A Los Angeles couple brought their daughter to child psychologist Wendy Mogel because she was getting bullied in school. It turned out the girl was provoking other kids to bully her because she was jealous of the amount of attention her parents gave her little brother.

"She found she could get a tremendous amount of attention with a daily download of bullying and less attention would be paid to her adorable little brother," says Mogel, author of "The Blessing of a B Minus: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Resilient Teenagers" and other books. "When they stopped rewarding her, it stopped. I advised them to catch her being strong and pay attention to that behavior."

from: Kid Safe

Police said Bill Stanton, who declined to say who hired him, won't have access to any case files related to their search for Lisa Irwin because he isn't law enforcement. He also doesn't appear to be licensed as a private investigator in Missouri as required when acting in that capacity.

"He will have access to anything the general public has access to," Kansas City police spokesman Capt. Steve Young said.

When asked by the Associated Press if he has handled a missing child case, Stanton said he couldn't detail cases involving children, then responded "Google me" when asked to discuss any of his past cases. He said he has worked as a consultant for "major media organizations," and the website for a consulting firm that lists him as a founding partner said he was a New York police officer before moving into private investigative work.

Lisa's parents, Deborah Bradley and Jeremy Irwin, reported their daughter missing early Oct. 4, saying she disappeared from her crib at their single-story home sometime overnight as her mother slept in a nearby room.

Hundreds of local, state and federal investigators have been looking for the child ever since, scouring through hundreds of tips and repeatedly searching the family's neighborhood, nearby woods, sewers and a landfill. But police said they have no suspects or solid leads.

Stanton said a wealthy "benefactor" connected to a family member asked him to get involved and acknowledged the family didn't hire him. Stanton said he would fly in other people on Thursday, but wouldn't elaborate.

"I am hopeful this child is safe and alive," Stanton said. "I don't want to make this about me."He said he would be managing any media inquiries directed at the family, which family members confirmed. They said he had their support.

On Wednesday, detectives using all-terrain vehicles and tracking dogs searched a heavily wooded area a few blocks from the home, but it turned up nothing. Young said more than 40 detectives, along with the FBI and other police departments, are working the case.

What Stanton could offer the investigation is unclear.  Ernie Allen, president of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, said his organization doesn't work with private investigators and had not heard of Stanton.

"Families in these situations are desperate and feel the need to do anything they can possibly do," Allen said. "I hope he helps them."

Jimmie Mesis, editor-in-chief of New Jersey-based PI Magazine, a trade magazine for private investigators, said he has heard of Stanton. He said Stanton's involvement could be troublesome if he interferes with witnesses, but he also could keep a national spotlight on the case — even if that attention is focused on "Wild Bill," a moniker for which Stanton has become popular.

"With Bill, one benefit, because he has celebrity status as a private investigator, the media is going to be interested in seeing what he's doing," Mesis said. Later, he added, "He's putting his reputation on the line, too."

from: Kid Safe